Showing posts from December, 2022

How to royally arse-fuck a TV show or movie franchise in 6 simple steps

  Attention studio bosses! Would you like to make a shit TV show or movie, or absolutely sink an existing franchise? Would you like to lose a metric fuckton of money, your audience, your credibility, and have everyone giggle at your expense? You would? Great! All you need to do is follow contemporary Hollywood's tried-and-tested formula: STEP 1 Create and air a show that leans hard into identity politics, gender-swapped and/or race-swapped characters, and girlboss feminist bullshit STEP 2 When your audience of PAYING CUSTOMERS baulks at your show's dumb content, immediately denounce  them as toxic bigots STEP 3 Claim that your show is a massive hit. Recruit media shills to help sell this obvious lie - spin, spin, spin! STEP 4 Renew your attacks on the PAYING CUSTOMERS who continue to say they don't like your show. Call them names - 'Nazi' and 'incel' are ideal because everyone hates those flavours of dickheads STEP 5 Double down on steps 2 and 3. You could

The importance of not being full of shit

This story takes place at my grandparents’ house at Christmas in the early 1980s. I was about 5 or 6 years old. My aunt was spending time with my cousin, letting her choose something from her collection of costume jewellery. I wandered over to look. I wasn’t particularly interested in what they were doing, but my aunt must have assumed that I was envious of the attention my cousin was getting. “Don’t worry,” said my aunt, “it’s boys’ turn next time.” It was at that point that I became excited. Boys' turn! Oh man, surely that was something to look forward to! And so I waited patiently for weeks, months - and then years - but boys' turn never came. I didn't say anything because I thought my aunt was as good as her word. But she wasn't, and I lost respect for her. I get that people have a lot going on in their lives and maybe forget things, but she made me feel that I wasn't important to her. What's the moral of this story? YOU might forget the promises you