Revenge is a dish best served petty

Once upon a time in a land far away, I worked for a recruiter. They were based in another city and I didn’t work for them directly, but they paid my salary. The job was a pretty standard ESL teaching gig, the sort of thing a normal person tolerates for a year or two before finding something better. Naturally, I stayed in the role for four years.

About the only good thing you could say about the recruiter was that they paid on time. Otherwise they were dogshit. There was no career path, and they offered no bonuses for performance or incentives of any kind. No raises, either, including adjustments for inflation! They were also very difficult to contact, especially if you needed them for anything. As soon as they got on you on board, they more or less ignored you.

A year or two into my contract, the recruiter sent me an email. They need me to give them Document X. I delete the email. I figure that if they don’t respond when I need stuff, why should I be any different? Being considerate is a two-way street... 

Anyway, weeks go by and I get more emails, each more desperate than the last. Would I please scan and send a copy of Document X to them ASAP?

No, I don't think I will. Fuck you. Delete.

Another few weeks of emails went entirely unacknowledged by me. Eventually someone called me on the phone. The recruiter really, really needs Document X now. It's beyond urgent. I pretended it was the first time I’d even heard about the matter, and forced the person on the other end of the line explain, in excruciating detail, exactly what Document X is even though it's screamingly obvious. I promised that I would take care of everything immediately.

A week or so later, I finally got around to reaching into my desk drawer for Document X. Instead of scanning it as requested, I took a blurry photo of it and sent it as an email attachment. It was around 8 MB. I included a message that apologised for the size, and offered to send an even bigger one if necessary.

I never heard from anyone about Document X again. Fools! I hope it clogged up their e-mail inbox, took ages to download and was in all respects a pain in the arse to use.


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